Volume I: The Genesis of Gong

This volume of Gong history examines the big (Gong) bang, the origins of the physical square of the realm and the battle for control in a whole new world.

WARNING: This album may contain recorded sightings of invaders from other universes, dimensions and physical planes.

I. ORIGIN
Loza threw his head back and laughed maniacally, much to the discomfort of those around him. "The legend of the red YOSH." In this moment, Loza was complete. A purpose.

The jester of Gong. The joker of Smash.

He could faintly hear the echoes of approval of Wacan in his mind as he smashed another poor fool into their doom, proclaiming that they were definitively "SPOOPED".

He understood his subjects. He was a veteran of the game, proudly verbalising his dominance and asserting himself with the crimson dinosaur - a path of action that other, simpler lifeforms could not possibly understand. No single entity in the realm could fathom the nonsense that was Loza Mews. A harbinger of destruction and insanity. An inconceivable being.

The whispers of Wacan filled his mind as he proceeded to ensure that the denizens of this newly formed dimension were as uncomfortable as possible.

The realm of Wollongong shifted at this minute. The waves could be felt through the cosmos.

II. THE BOOK OF NOY
The fabric of reality shook uncontrollably.

"A stock! I took a stock off Chris once!"

A presence so great that it could be felt in parallel universes. The laughter of the being known simply as the "Noy" was so astronomically powerful and unpredictable; the very thought of such an existence was enough to drive citizens into hysteria.

The origins of this creature are still largely unrecorded in all but four known realms. An ethereal entity with no true presence - such was the power of the Noy. The ability to manipulate pure matter and exist in any location at any time was a trait that struck fear into the hearts of many residents of this realm once dominated by order and control.

The first leader would not stand for this. "The time has come to strike down the memes," he boldly declared with furious anger. An era would pass before this wish came to light; the Noy would remain to disorient those that would willingly attempt to challenge his sporadic nature and mischievous intent.

Few can still hauntingly hear the laughter to this day.

III. THE FIRST WAR
From the outside, a torrent of destruction, despair and pity - but our resident Wollongongian heroes remember this era as a clash of wits and pride.

To some, it lives on in infamy. Rivalries that burned brightly and strongly. Blood that boiled in the presence of greatness. Young souls that cared only for their reputation and their hard-earned victory in the battlegrounds of this new realm. A wandering merchant, known only as 'Drew'.

A desire to wear the crown.

Some time has passed and many of these legends have now been erased from reality or missing in regions unknown. However, time cannot change the events leading to this moment; a united front was born and now many of the great warriors of the realm have stepped out to challenge the world around them.

Some of their journeys may have come to an end, but their legends live forward and remain immortal.

IV. THE FIRST LEADER
Tomes from the first Wollongongian era infrequently reference one of the universe's oldest members and coveted leaders - a gentle soul with a roaring red hatred for tomfoolery and digital humour.

This elder of the land would often theorise and record his ideas and findings with tenacity, expression, control and heart - much to the pleasure of his devout followers. His great power did not prevent him from caring for his loyal subjects, often showering them with sugary foods and pleasant beverages.

"It never gets old."

This soft reminder would energise his disciples as they studied his texts; their loyalty never wavered even in the darkest times up until his disappearance.

Citizens speak of his departure with uncertainty, but some believe he is trapped in another realm by forces unknown. The cynics have accepted that the man once known as the first leader will never return, but his true followers claim to hear his voice in their minds with utmost clarity, suggesting that one day he will find his way back home.

V. VANQUISHING
Loza's will was simply too overwhelming for his opponent. He strengthened his resolve and unleashed his final technique, banishing his foe to the darkness.

Prophets of the land often predicted that the joker of the realm had vast untapped potential, but never was it clearer than in this second. With a mighty swing of his weapon, he declared his victory and sent the Gord soul to a bleak dimension of hatred and irrelevancy. To most, it had appeared as though this being had simply ceased to exist.

"I DEFEATED THE CANCER. I GOT THE $20."

The spoils of the fight were numerous. Loza had eradicated this monster and obtained his trophy in the form of blood-red currency, further reinforcing his legend with tales being told across the galaxy.

Loza would retain and utilise this power to defeat another.

VI. SHOWDOWN
Through the fires of combat, the heroes of Wollongong had emerged unbroken and steadfast. Their power was overwhelming, and it was time to unite the universes for one final clash.

"This is the last one."

An open invitation. A direct request. A challenge.

And so it was that the two realms agreed to do combat to prove their superiority.

The worlds collided. Much like the interdimensional power of the Noy's soundscape, the very particles holding the universe together bounced nervously. It was clear that the invading warriors were not equipped to deal with the level of insanity brought forth by Wollongong, and those unfamiliar with the realm's curses experienced mind-bending and intense disorientation.

Wacan smiled.

VII. JOURNEY
The ancient scrolls tell a parable of a group of warriors from this realm that ventured out into another world. It was said that these four men would do battle with foreign enemies to test their mettle; however, steered awry from their objectives by copious amounts of brew, the warriors instead chose to request the strongest opponents from other lands and immortalise parts of their body with technology.

Roars were heard around the world as these men clashed with the best of the best from other lands. These furious fighters engaged in the fiercest melee with their entire dimension cheering for them. This collective would heroically return to Wollongong thirsty for more - and so it was that they moved forward with their next quest.

It would be some time before these men were joined by others with wills as powerful as their own.

VIII. SUPREMACY
"A money match," the boy simply known to many as only 'Cork' suggested. "But instead of money, the prize...is this can of soft drink."

Chet took his time to consider this proposal. His following - the many denizens of Awesomeland - were certainly in his corner, and the choice was his to make as their leader.

Ultimately, he swallowed his pride and acquiesced to the boy's request. "This is for my land," he proclaimed defiantly. "Let's get this started."

The battle commenced.

Both warriors acknowledged the odds. The audience of millions could not possibly have predicted the outcome of the battle.

They simply knew that it would be a sight to behold.

IX. FALL
Fiercely engaged in combat with his tiny but powerful opponent, Banan leaped into the sky to deliver a decisive blow that would end the battle once and for all.

He bellowed as he sent his foe flying to an absolute death. In his mind, the end had arrived. A winner had been decided. The battle was complete.

This weakness. Letting go of his sword.

Undoing.

His opponent simply watched as he fell to his doom, a defeat orchestrated simply by his own negligence and obliviousness. A blade can, in fact, be too sharp.

A lesson.

X. RELEASE
The roar echoed throughout the realm.

"It is time. I am complimentary at last. I have achieved...bankai."

The unrelenting power felt by those on the planet almost sent them soaring through the galaxy. How was a strength this great achievable by anyone in this dimension, let alone other ones?

Franke realised that with these abilities came a certain responsibility.

"I know." His wisdom was final. "I know now that I must protect this world so that it takes no damage."

This bankai had come at a tremendous cost. The warrior has since disappeared from this realm, only making appearances when he is needed most. Some have suggested that the strain on his body is far too great, and that his existence in this reality is unstable at best.

He roared again.

XI. SENTIENCE
Reece shrieked in happiness.

"My greatest creation," he wept as his opponent destroyed him without mercy or hesitation.

His creation, appropriately titled the "AntiChrisT", was an unstoppable force. This artificially intelligent monster had learned to emulate malevolence in a way that was almost unprecedented in the realm.

Meticulously crafted to humiliate Wollongong's greatest warrior, the mad scientist's demon would crush all of his enemies before arriving at his final foe.

And so it was. Man versus machine. Flesh versus steel. A robot built to detect weakness and inflict suffering against an opponent that only knew the same.

Judgement day.

XII. THE ODDS
"I'm the underdog, so place your bets."

An announcement that roared through the lands. Inspired by a fallen hero, Buster would take up arms and challenge Wacan to finally prove his superiority and cement himself as a true legend.

His motion to place the bet became iconic; it has become customary in Wollongong to observe Buster indicating that the odds are certainly in his favour before a money match is to commence.

The winds were not kind to Wacan that day as Buster swiftly slew him on the battlefield and claimed a cold hundred. What remained of Wacan's mind would crumble in due time.

In his own head, Buster is still placing several bets. Where he places them is only known to one Wollongong resident.

That resident is Buster.

It would not be long before the First Leader returned to battle. He was not done just yet.

XIII. NONPLUS
Defeat.

In a state of bewilderment, Wollongong's very own bearded warrior searched his soul for an answer. How was he able to be bested? Not by his fellow competitor, but by a mere child from outside the city walls? It was almost unfathomable. It was surely the resources of his opponent that led him to victory and nothing else. Skill was clearly not a factor.

"Yeah I just think your character is just really cancer and like you're still good though."

A begrudging acknowledgement of his opponent's victory. A statement that would ring throughout all of the realms.

There was nothing left to lose.

XIV. LIGHT AND DARKNESS
"Right, I'm going to rap. Why? Well, it's 'cos I'm a hard baller. But there's another reason isn't there?

I'm Invisi, I'm king of the world! Poppin' caps in your ass, while I cum in your girl. I main Jigglypuff 'cos I'm really cool. You think I'm good at Smash but I'm actually a fool. You see, I paid five hundred dollars to team, with Mr. R who's a big meme man. He's got the big ol' Jigglypuff / Sheik combo. CHECK IT OUT GUYS, THEY MADE A REALLY GOOD DUO.

I actually disagree - guess what? They were fucking shit. Mr R would grab, Invisi pressed down-B, wow congrats! That was so good! That was an amazing combo!"

The battle raged on.

One man. The invisible sniper. The champion of nature. The quiet dreamer. Order.

The other. The jester of the realm. The master of nonsense. The lord of destruction. Chaos.

Caught in an eternal struggle for power, the two warriors confronted each other on the battlefield where words were meaningless and actions took precedence. Loza drew power from his desire for anarchy; a penchant for causing mayhem and striking fear into the hearts of his opponents. Invisi's strength, some will say, originated from his headgear. Such a claim is unsubstantiated.

The rivalry would continue as the men sought dominance. This would continue until a time at which an uneasy alliance was formed - and after their riotous war was settled once and for all.

XV. FURY
Defeat.

Overcome with the rage of a thousand fires, Wacan sent his controller to the ground with such force that it shot towards the ceiling. Much like the device, his soul was irreparable; in this moment, the man known as Wacan was but no more. In a fit of frustration he splintered into several cunning beings with a single commonality. These shades were merely remnants of the man that used to be Wacan, but each took on a unique - and deviously malevolent - identity.

Herman Sniffler. Molluscc. Uncle Leo. Fat Bandit.

Few recall the tension this event caused on the universe, but even fewer can claim to understand how these many personalities are able to co-exist.

XVI. THE DRIFTER
"Spoilers: I don't hold Ls."

The one known as "Geuff Potty" has cemented his status as a jack of all trades in the competitive landscape of the nation since long ago (perhaps even before the creation of this realm). As a man of honour and wit, Proudley is known for preparing his own weaponry with which to battle his opponents - a respectable trait that has earned him a collective following.

Rumours and rumblings point to his connections with the First Leader and their work in theorycraft. The disappearance of this man has left Proudley to fill the void and seek out stronger opponents.

Some say that he and Wacan share a unique mental link. Perhaps he is the only one in all of Wollongong who truly understands the ways of the madman.

XVII. REMOVER OF OBSTACLES
A loud crash. A door destroyed.

A legend born.

Perhaps he was unable to see what lay before him. Perhaps he was able. His eye simply observed the objective and his body followed through. As if possessed by some otherworldly force, it took but one headstrong charge to decimate the obstacle in his path and return to the outside world. It offered precisely zero resistance, and rightly so.

The others were powerless to stop it. They could only look on in amazement.

Precursor texts often suggest that the destroyer of gates has been omnipresent for some time across the world. Many claim to have heard of his legend, but few have truly witnessed his power.

XVIII. BLEED
In a rare moment of enfeeblement, the First Leader sought guidance. Nenni, his 32nd disciple, suggested a path of action. "There are many answers. Ryu. Bison. Gouken."

"Interesting. This may be the wisdom I have been searching for." The First Leader took his leave to conduct his research. Countless hours were spent studying the answers provided to him by his follower.

Gouken stood out to him. A powerful resource. An entity of tremendous power.

A weakness for some.

The First Leader initiated a formal request. "I wish to experiment." Nenni would demonstrate his commitment by meeting him on the battlefield to test him.

But this training strained Nenni's physical being. His molecules started to shift. The devout loyalty to his leader was beginning to cause a rift. In time, it was too much. He ascended from this mortal realm to a higher plane of existence.

Sublimation.

XIX. INVIGORATION
The First Leader took a breath. The outlook of the conflict was certainly dire; he had been bested twice in combat by Buster and there was little hope of victory. He delved into his own mind to consider all possible outcomes of the next - and perhaps final - battle.

His power grew. He found an answer.

And then another.

In several swift strokes, he had countered his opponent's actions. Perhaps it was all of the training that he had undertaken with his disciples. Perhaps it was the pure strength of his reputation as Wollongong's first great leader. Perhaps he searched his mind deeply to uncover a weakness in his opponent.

It may have been all three.

"Your Senpai...is not done yet."

With one mighty final blow, he sent Buster to the dark in defeat. His message bellowed across the realms like a spreading flame.

XX. BIRTH OF CHAOS
The man simply laughed. "Other realms?"

"That's right. A fissure in time. The creation of light and darkness. Chaos and harmony together at last. I can sense it." Chris G felt something calling to him. A unique sound - one that he had never heard before. But it felt so familiar all the same.

"I need to leave this boat. I am the only one that can prevent the coming war."

He powered his light and vanished instantly, to the surprise and horror of the man on the vessel. Faintly - in the distance - the spirits of Wollongong called to him. The sound of the G reverberated around his realm - and theirs.

He would arrive very soon.

He had travelled to restore order to the world. He was not prepared for the chaos within.

XXI. THE SECOND WAR
The Guild raised their weapons. "We will not be bested! We will claim this land as our own!"

The First Leader simply smiled. "Our light is far too great. You have no place in this world. We have a room booking."

The conflict had raged on for centuries. Wollongong's ardent, ragtag group of fighters and battlers versus an alien species that had weaponised their scent for evil. The struggle for power seemed endless; the two factions would send scouts to claim zones around the realms and order assassination attempts on high-value targets.

Until the last fateful day of the war. The First Leader had enough.

The Guild fought nobly. In an alternate timeline, they may have stood a chance against the denizens of Wollongong. But this was not to be.

With a beam of shining light, they were extinguished and their life points reduced to zero.

XXII. PHANTOM
The Second Leader - the rightful heir to the throne of Awesomeland - was king no more.

Many residents of the realm claim that he had drunkenly been abusing his power in these lands. Destroying law and order that the First Leader had worked so hard to maintain. Pulling strings to create the realm that he wanted to see.

A curse had been unleashed as he ceased to be the ruler. Many in Wollongong could suddenly not even recall his presence throughout the time of his leadership. Was this world even true?

Hysteria gripped the dimension. Cults formed. The theory that it was all one true simulation.

And what of the leader? Few truly know the root cause of his disappearance from the realm. The ancient texts allude to his swift exit on a primitive means of transport. Betrayed by those he trusted most.

If they were ever real.

XXIII. PARAGON
Geuff Potty conceded defeat.

He had been busted by the Buster. A perfect score had been achieved. He had certainly considered Buster to be a worthy opponent in the past, and now he had truly proven his worth.

This moment would commemorate Buster's legend into the hall of fame in the realm of Wollongong - so much so that the realm itself would often echo the victory constantly in the following days. A voice that sounded remarkably like Buster.

Was this all part of Geuff's ultimate plan? Was there an ulterior motive or hidden motivation to this dominant victory?

Not a soul knows for sure.

XXIV. MONUMENT
The fragmentation of the being known as Wacan was almost complete. The residents of the dimension were never entirely sure of the entity that stood before them; only one Loza Mews understood the full extent of Wacan's broken and scattered mind.

Perhaps all they saw was Loza Mews. Perhaps this "Wacan" was merely an extension of his psyche.

His behaviour became erratic. The languages he would speak in became increasingly indecipherable and less Gonglish. As the days passed, it was almost as though Wacan was conquering his mind. Ordering him to act.

A puppet.

In the days to follow, he would instruct Loza to conduct a bizarre ritual to summon a being known only as "the Krone". A mythical monster known only to exist in a distant realm, the duo's attempt to bring the being into existence had strained Loza's own.

Some claim to have seen the Krone wander the land. Others believe it was nothing more than an apparition.

XXV. PATRIARCH
"More memes. Feed him more memes."

Kel ruled the lands with an iron fist. His power was almost unparalleled and his presence was so dominant in the realm that a simple image or mention of his name was enough to send citizens into a crazed panic.

His punishment for those who would attempt to poison his legacy was a steady stream of Internet pop culture references and warped pictures of his own appearance injected straight into his victim's mind.

One fateful day, he removed his crown and retired to lead a life of quiet solitude.

His successor would develop a reputation as an anarchist. A man with no fear and a mental edge just as skewed as his own.

Loza Mews was born.

XXVI. BETRAYAL
Gold.

Two powerful treasures in the hands of one now powerful man.

The First Leader was impressed. "You managed to procure not one - but TWO - of these fabled trinkets?"

"Indeed. They are the stuff of legends." The simple treasure hunter was aware of the value of the goods - and knew of the First Leader's plan to contain their power.

"Would you accept any form of currency? A reward of some sort for obtaining these legendary items?"

"Not so," said the treasure hunter. "I suspect their worth will increase over time...as will their power."

The First Leader smiled politely to hide his hatred and disrespect for the lowly adventurer. He allowed the man to keep the treasure.

He would soon take to the realms to decry his disgust for those who would betray him.

"Scum."

XXVII. THE THIRD WAR
"Man the turrets!"

Loza heard the shrill, twisted voice inside his mind as the opposing ships closed in around him. He quickly ran through the cargo hold - past his team - and locked himself into the weapon.

He fired. Several direct hits.

"What do we do now?! All of our systems are failing!"

The crew were in a state of distress. The alien ship was closing in fast. Soon, there would be nothing left of their vessel - and no one left on board.

Loza Mews kept firing. The enemy was closing in. Suddenly...

He woke.

A simple dream. Wacan's voice bounced around in his mind.

"Was that the space wars?"

XXVIII. THE NATIVE
The legendary outdoor master known simply as "Jack" - or "Jerk Herbutt" in respected circles - is a man with information to spare. His wild presence can be felt throughout the realm; whether he is attempting to strike an opponent down into the ground or simply guide them to victory.

Some say his spiritual connections enable him to understand just how the fractured mind of Wacan is able to function and operate even after it had been splintered so powerfully. This claim has never been proven.

As the father of all plant life, Jack's knowledge knows no bounds. He has sacrificed many of his personal skills to achieve this, such as being able to detect when a fellow Wollongong resident has entered the dream realm - a common skill among most.

Jack's existence in the dimension is now uncommon. He is often found in small pockets, tending to the fauna of the lands.

XXIX. ANIMAL
"HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Franke materialised.

His clan was in complete shock. Perfecting bankai now allowed his physical being to vibrate across all parallel dimensions through his incredibly potent dance ability. He had become one of the most powerful warriors in the lands.

While the others were occupied with tiny squabbles and conflicts, Franke had now acknowledged a higher purpose. He sought to explore other realms with this newfound technique.

"I am the only one that can bring about the complimentarydom that this world deserves."

"HOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

He disappeared. The others were left dumbfounded once more. In their minds, they heard a distant voice that requested them to just...dance.

Like animals.

XXX. INFILTRATION
The First Leader brought together a meeting with his followers.

"It is time to run a simulation."

His fans and devotees observed as he ran through the digital environment with ease, perfecting every turn during the mock sprint and defeating every enemy he encountered. It all seemed to be progressing very smoothly.

In his head, he heard a voice.

"Ray. Give me mod."

How was this possible? How did one of Wacan's psyche fragments digitise itself to confront the First Leader during the simulation?

He recoiled in shock. The fragment had formed a legion of big data entities, referring to themselves only as "dongers".

Surely this was a trick designed to test the First Leader. He reassured his followers that he would remain calm and proceed through the digital realm unaffected by this curse.

XXXI. THE FOURTH WAR
"It's a dumb Disney movie! It's only about a lion and his idiot friends. At least Aladdin is actually enjoyable and has likable characters."

"How is Aladdin even at all good in the first place? Most of it is boring and there is not a single redeemable scene in the entire film."

"Aladdin has Jafar and Iago, which are far better than any characters in The Lion King. Are you actually stupid?"

"Sorry, did you even see the movie? Simba literally claws his way back to Pride Rock to take on Scar. It's so much more interesting than what Aladdin does."

The dimension of Wollongong was in disarray. For a time, this appeared to be the beginning of the end.